How to come out to your parents for being gay

Coming out to your parents can be a joyous, empowering experience—but it can also be nerve-wracking and even scary. In our society, heterosexuality is the assumed norm. Sometimes, people react negatively — and you need to prepare yourself for that possibility.

Hint: We have a useful list of orientations and sexualities here! Depending on what you find comfortable, you could come out in person, via text, via phone call, on social media, or using whatever method works for you. In other cases, it could be better to have the conversation in a semi-public place like a restaurant.

If you come out via phone call, make sure that the other person is also in a quiet place and that they have time to listen to you and offer support. Feeling pressured to come out to your parents? In this article, we’ll explore what to consider when coming out and how to prepare so you can have the most fruitful discussion possible.

Coming out to parents is a vulnerable situation to be in, and can bring up a range of emotions. Regardless of how you come out, there are a few ways to phrase it. This could give them an idea of what to do and say, and how to process the information themselves.

Again, it can be helpful to redirect them towards an article like this one from PFLAG about being supportive when your kid comes out. This way, that first person can support you while you come out to others. If you’re unsure how to tell your parents you’re gay, we can help.

Also, importantly, you need to consider your safety. This guide for young adults, whether lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or another orientation, can help ease the process. Bezzy communities provide meaningful connections with others living with chronic conditions.

They might need time to process the information. Join Bezzy on the web or mobile app. If someone is bigoted toward you, that says more about them than it does about you. Before coming out, you should consider whether you feel emotionally ready to do so.

Others have full-on coming out parties. Exploring your sexual orientation and/or gender identity can bring up a lot of feelings and this handbook, we will work together to explore your identity, what it might be like to share your identity with others, and provide you with tools and guiding questions to help you think about what coming out means to you.

Actually getting the words out can be tough, which is why many people prefer texts or social media posts. I came out to my friends at camp, but only once the lights were off because I was too shy to look anyone in the eye. These resources could be articles, videos, podcasts, or even social media pages they can follow.

Ask them if they can be there when you tell others. Before you come out, it might be helpful to find one or two resources that resonate with you and keep the links handy. Taking some time to think through how you want to share this information, as well as considering different possible outcomes, can help you feel more supported and prepared.

How To Come Out

Come out in whatever way feels good and safe for you. Coming out is as liberating as it is terrifying. You could also mention it more casually. In that case, they might not be able to send a positive message back to you right away. If you're looking for some guidance, check out our top tips on how to come out to your parents.

They might be able to give you support — either in person or over text — while you come out to others.